I stated in past posts my quest to return to normalcy (if there is one); jumping into the corporate world after 9 years in a state of illness called depression.
The bumpy ride is getting bumpier and bumpier.
I am in customer service; stats were meeting targets every month and I was becoming contented in the job routine. My rapport with customers was polished and roughly every month qualified for the department bonus. So that was that.
Then May/07 arrived. Department shuffle = training, new stuff to learn. I must have acquired a learning disability during these crappy depression years (ECT may have been a factor), because I never recollect having such problems in the training area of a job. Job training is going to send me to my grave. First of all, it was the two training requirements to get jobs in the first place, to launch my career, and now to keep a job I must go through more. The ‘department shuffle’ session was complex. The usual computer problems; 3 screens behind everyone else, and in a panic when required to pass the quiz after completion.
And now…… I just discovered, management will be adding another facet to our already jam-packed positions. I am not overjoyed. Another training course. Another quiz. Wow. I feel a PeptoBismal coming on. I feel so much anxiety, and am beside myself. I have grown so much since my bedridden, dark days; and trying so very hard to stay afloat, but this is a knock down. I think I need the professionals for this one.
I do have a wonderful pdoc, but think I may see the psychologist I saw a few months back for some help. I am pissed off to a degree, and wonder why I am being tested over and over?