Should I Tell?

I ask this question over and over in my brain throughout the day; it’s getting ridicules.

Should I tell anybody, everybody, nobody that I have a mental illness namely depression?  I really know the answer, and that is “keep my big trap shut!”

I’m off work on sick leave now awaiting a form filled out from my doctor.  Family doctor that is, as I know they will positively request the psychiatrist evaluation for my claim.

The last few months have been more than a struggle; not just with my actual work, but that of keeping my “secret”, even from my close lunch buddy.  Her and I were a couple of chit-chatters at times, but zilch was ever revealed.  I just couldn’t chance any loose lips.

In a way, I wished my manager had come to me and questioned why such low productivity.  I know they have to be careful of intrusion (protecting their butts), but at the same time at least showing some concern.  I wouldn’t have revealed – but it would have been nice to be asked.

It’s still really early in the game, the meds are not effective.  Wellbutrin is making me feel worse and pdoc doesn’t return for a couple of weeks.  If I do return to work……..(don’t want to think about it).

Stigma again.

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2 thoughts on “Should I Tell?

  1. Thanks so much for you comment. I am tossing this question up in the air every day. Up to this point I don’t think I will. I showed so many signs up to the end before I left (too many days off, low productivity, and I know I was a little short-tempered at times). This is uncharactistic. I have always been a productiive employee and I think when you see someone’s numbers sliding each month, the least you could do is approach them. They just left me alone and consequently would have been placed on probation this month. No for now I think my decision is the keep my mouth shut.

  2. It’s a tricky tricky question. Having to weigh up the possible impact on your career that honesty could bring, against your current requirement for support. It’s obviously nothing to be ashamed of, but the reality of the situation can be so different. I would personally go for honesty. You cover your own back then, it explains your work output, and you might be surprised at the support which you get. It would be one less thing to worry about, but decisions are so much harder when you are depressed.
    I hope things get better for you soon
    Good Thoughts
    Lola x

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