Stress for me just lately is followed by depression, and true a black fog for me. I hate using this term “sucks” but depression does suck and no one who has not lived through these endless, lonely days even has a clue what it feels like.

You’re right the fog does clear, and it cleared for me after about a year with major depression, and that is with taking anti depressents. I was off work for 6 mos with this illness once again, went back to work full-time hours at work, somewhat of a mistake, but just couldn’t handle things, and now am part-time. I love the 5 hour day compared to the 7.5 hour day. You see I’m a debt collector and the stress of things really got to me and I felt as if the day was never ending. Now I can go home and relax, do things that I want to do. The bank account has suffered, but what are we put on this world for?

People in this situation often feel that are lucky
to make it through the day without that switch been
flicked but in the back of their mind they fear that it
could happen at any moment day or night.
They remain on high alert anticipating it.
Anticipating the big one!
In fact most people who experience panic attacks
fear it in this manner. It is natural for people to think this
way as often the panic attacks come forcefully out
of the blue.
The truth of the situation is however
different. A panic attack does not lurk in the background
waiting to pounce, it can feel that way in your mind
if you are anxious but that is not how it really works.
Panic attacks are actually something we decide to
initiate when we feel out of control.
The thought that triggers almost all panic attacks is :
“This is too much , I cannot handle this,”
Then the adrenaline starts to really pump.
“Ah I was right look my body is going into a fit…
“I am terrified by what is about to
happen…HELP,- PANIC… !”
The severity of the panic attack is directly
related to how you are feeling at that time.
If you are exhausted physically, mentally or emotionally
then you are more vulnerable to feeling anxious.
After the panic attack has run its course, it is
followed by a prolonged period of general anxiety.
During this time the person fears that the panic
switch might go off again at any moment sending
them into another tailspin of high anxiety.

Stress or Anxiety AND DEPRESSION can often feel like a thick fog has surrounded
your mind. Nothing really seems enjoyable as you are
always looking out at the world through this haze of
anxious thoughts and feelings. This fog steals the joy
out of life and can make you feel removed
or cut off from the world.

When someone is very caught up in anxious thoughts
they are top heavy so to speak. The constant mental
activity they are engaged in has caused an imbalance
where all of their focus is on their mental anxieties.

A powerful way to move out of this anxious
mental fog is to switch your focus from your head
to your heart.

By simply making a deliberate shift of attention to your heart
you will find the anxious thoughts dissipate more easily
and the mental fog starts to gradually clear.

What makes your heart happy?
What makes you feel good?
What good things do you currently have in your life?

Now, of course I’m aware of med student’s disorder. Since taking an interest in psych half a decade ago I’ve experienced it tons, but over the years I figure I’ve got a pretty good defense against it. If there’s a single thing described as a definite symptom that I’m not entirely sure of, I drop the notion that I might be diagnosable. Reading about SPD, however, was like reading an autobiography. I described to a close friend – one of three, all on the internet – that it was as though someone had been spying on me since I was a young kid and noting down all my idiosyncrasies in order to publish them as a concrete disorder. This isn’t paranoia, incidentally, just a simile I used.

As you may have guessed, the vast majority of my time is spent in front of the computer. I’ve got a couple websites going, a very packed MSN list full of people who do entertain me albeit briefly before, feeling a little selfish, I get bored of them. Generally, apart from the aforementioned three, if they contact me recently after I’ve grown bored with them I amuse myself by ridiculing them – in a humorous fashion, but many have stopped talking to me which like Heinzog described I just don’t care about. Offline, I’m entirely different: very polite, but ultimately avoidant; I don’t have any close friends anywhere in my province and I’ve lived here my whole life, and just one person I deign to spend more than half an hour with for enjoyment. My voice is incredibly monotonous (it’s why my family told me I’d make a good shrink, though I’m more interested in research) and my facial expressions are dulled.

During times where I’m forced into a social situation (or I force myself; as much as I enjoy it, I don’t think my hermit lifestyle is healthy for prolonged periods of time) I am always calculating my response to things. It’s not anxiety, just sort of an obsession with my reactions, typically how I’m standing, what I’m looking at, ensuring I’m not staring at anyone or anything I shouldn’t be, and laughing when others laugh. I almost always regret coming into a situation with more than one or two other people, though, and am quick to leave as soon as possible. Upon doing so, I spend more time reflecting on what I did and what others did in response during the situation than I did in the situation itself. Often I’ll take the role of someone I had a brief conversation with and continue it, usually glorifying what I know and making myself out to be much more interesting than I know I am in face-to-face relations.

Finally, despite this avoidance of people I should stress that I find them fascinating. Although the procedures for theoretical experiments have had the couple people I’ve described them to down my throat about ethics I do care about the feelings of those around me. I’m a tad ivory tower elitist but have a good deal of empathy for emotional people. Or emotional things: cartoons, smiley icons, even waffles…if it looks sad, I get this pang of sympathy. Also, strangely, when it looks happy, though to a lesser extent. I haven’t done much research or any more (perhaps questionable) self-analysis on this anthropomorphizing but if I do in fact have this disorder I might hypothesize that the basic emotions I feel do build up and are easily influenced. Unfortunately I’ve yet to meet a schizoid individual.

Last bit: a couple things the article didn’t mention. First of all, schizoids, and myself, have a hugely diminished sex life and drive but are susceptible to libidal pangs…perhaps like the ones I described with other emotions. I would describe myself as asexual and, although they make for great cruel humor on the internet, anytime sex comes up in semi-serious conversation, or in face-to-face conversation, I immediately withdraw. An interesting thing is that I have never fallen in love with anyone even platonically, though I don’t know if this is connected.

Secondly, because of the difference in the overt and covert aspects of the schizoid mindset, their lives tend to be rife with fantasy. As I already described I am a happy elitist and narcissist and often imagine conversations between myself and others in which myself and my ideas are glorified. When reading about SPD I came across several times the tendency for people with the disorder to have radical philosophies due to these fantasies, which sent me in a bit of a reflective roller-coaster wondering if my opinions on psychiatry, politics, religion, the family unit…all the things I philosophize on are really just products of my disorder and unrealistic, but I’ve overcome that by reminding myself that it’s the radicals that make the progressive changes. I do engage in more powerful fantasies (ah, what the hell, I’m anonymous online) including the creation of my own world that I explore with the aid of hypnosis and for the last year a highly developed imaginary friend with whom I have a very close relationship. Schizoids may also have psychotic episodes during times of great stress, but I don’t feel it’s my leisure to describe which of my experiences during stressful times might be delusions.

For me, all these things developed earlier than normal for schizoids, although I don’t have a diagnosis and don’t plan on getting one as I feel I’ve stigmatized myself enough that I shouldn’t have to worry about any future publications being criticized for the disorder. Usually SPD develops in very late teens to early twenties. I thought I’d post this here, because it’s the only place I’ve found that addresses the disorder and invites people to share their knowledge and experiences, and what better way to confide than to hide behind an IP mask and address the globe?

I think SPD is much more common than is recognized because people with it are not distressed (which begs the question of why it’s considered a disorder in the first place). They don’t seek treatment, and most aren’t chronically interested in psychology, so don’t get put in the census that currently stands at about 0.2% of the population in America if I remember right. Perhaps we don’t all know them, but I think we all know of someone who prefers solitude, who perhaps has some odd ideas, doesn’t laugh at your jokes. What goes on in their heads may be odd, but they add spice to the world and it’s these recluses who are often the force in the background of many breakthroughs in society. Just as people who are unshakably logical put into perspective the artistic crowd, schizoids and other holders of Class A personality disorders – provide another set of paint along with that of the social crowd, the majority of which who also in my opinion are diagnosable with mental disorders themselves. If we only had one set of paint, just one kind of person without any abnormality or eccentricity, we would have a very monochromatic painting of the human race with no chance of being anything more than a Rorschach test.

FIRST COPY AND PASTE THIS LINK OR WRITE IT DOWN ON PAPER. THEN FORWARD IT TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND HAVE THEM DO THE SAME. MY EMAIL IS IN THE STORY ..PEOPLE CAN CONTACT ME IF THEY WANT TO. THANK YOU..PEOPLE LIKE MY SISTER DESERVE RECOGNITION FOR THIS SLIP UP..SOMEONE DROPPED THE BALL NOT ONLY IN MY SISTERS CASE..BUT COUNTLESS OTHERS.