Welcome – Glad you could join me



STIGMA: definitition:  a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something

This site Living In Stigma is dedicated to those individuals living with mental illness, affecting them most deeply along with their spouses, family and friends.

Many forms of mental illness take their shape in Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia and other disorders including Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia just to name a few.  A major note is that mental illness is neither one’s fault nor a character flaw, however, we unfortunately  live in a society laced with Stigma.

SNAP JUDGEMENT: and you’re so perfect?

Who am I to judge you?   Who are you to judge me?

Dictionary:  Judgementthe ability to judge, makes a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, esp. in matters affecting action; good sense; discretion: a man of sound judgment.

Stigma: a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one’s reputation; a mental or physical mark that is characteristic of a defect or disease: the stigmata of leprosy.

In my opinion, judgement intertwines with stigma.  Why do we judge?

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Are you faking PTSD for attention? Is this just a scam?

I have PTSD, and just hearing the word “fake & “scam” makes me cringe.

Yesterday, while sitting in a coffee shop sipping tea and reading a book, two woman around 30 – 40 years of age sitting behind me, actually had this conversation. True story. I’ll call them A & B.

A –Do you believe in all of this PTSD shit?

B –I don’t know what to think sometimes.  I do know a co-worker who’s sister is going to therapy for it, I don’t know what exactly for, but she just said something that happened to her when she was young and has PTSD now.

A –Do you think it’s for real, or she looking for attention?  How old is her sister?

B –I think she’s in her 30’s, not sure. It’s something about molestation or something, I didn’t want to ask and be nosey.

A –Yeah right, like she can remember things that happened when she was a kid!

B –Well it’s her business

A –I’m just asking because I saw a show last night showing how some men in the military and some police are actually faking having this PTSD, just to collect disability.  Some of them have collected $100,000.00, what a shame when people that have an actual disability need it.

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20 truths of blogging.

Originally posted on Lucky Otter's Haven:


In my 8 months of blogging I’ve learned a few things. Here are 20 of them.

1. Nothing is too personal to write publicly about. There will always be someone who will be grateful you shared it. As for the rest, they don’t care as much as you think they do. That soul-baring post is probably only embarrassing to you.

2. If you have a post you’re afraid to make public, make it public anyway (see #1). It’s okay to run naked in public sometimes. You’ll feel freed.


3. You are going to have haters. It’s unavoidable. If you can’t handle people hating you or your blog, you have no business blogging.

4. If your blog starts getting popular, your haters will be more numerous and more vocal. It’s okay to have haters. Love your haters. They’re obviously obsessed enough with you to visit your blog and that increases your…

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ER Screening for Suicide Risk ~ not so good

TORONTO – May 20/15 –  Physicians, including psychiatrists, often fail to screen for known suicide risk factors in the emergency department (ED) setting, new research shows.

Investigators at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, Canada, found established suicide predictors including bullying, childhood trauma and suicidal plan and intent were not commonly assessed. Even though many of these predictors were deemed important by physicians they were missed in ED assessments.

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Difference between: “psychopath” and “sociopath”

You may have heard people call someone else a “psychopath” or a “sociopath.” But what do those words really mean?

You won’t find the definitions in mental health’s official handbook, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.  Doctors don’t officially diagnose people as psychopaths or sociopaths.  They use a different term instead: antisocial personality disorder.

Most experts believe psychopaths and sociopaths share a similar set of traits. People like this have a poor inner sense of right and wrong. They also can’t seem to understand or share another person’s feelings. But there are some differences, too.


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Happy Mother’s Day to all of us….the good and the bad

Originally posted on lily pups life:


If your mother has passed, I am sorry. It must be a tough day.

If you are estranged from your mother, I’m sorry. It must be a tough day.

If your mother was abusive, I’m really sorry. It’s a tough day.

If you had the kind of mother that loved you and was there for you, I am happy for you.

If you are a mother and your kids will recognize the day in some way, good for you.

If you have lost a child, you have my sympathy and prayers.

If you have children that could seem to care less, I’m sorry.

I just couldn’t let Mother’s Day go by. Without raining on the parade, I think it is important to remember that it is a not a good day for everyone. Do you know someone who could use a hug or a prayer today?

I am lucky. Although…

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……. ” Different Life’s ” ……

Originally posted on ..Kicking Strokes Ass In Words..:


Mental illness a life of no answers,
Where you feel your living a curse,
Depression,s darkness all around,
Anxiety and fear are abound ,

Living a life that feels so unreal
Where the cards have given you a lousey deal,
Trying only again to be dragged back,
Never feeling your on the right track,

Test,pills and different treatments ,
Clouding your thinking making no sence ,
Where your emotions want to devour you,
And logic doesn’t seem to have a clue.

Anger is always near to the top,
Feeling your life take a drastic drop,
All the time trying to understand what’s going on,
And how this illness is making your life feel so wrong,

Living in a body that’s broken and torn,
Yearning for a new one to be born
Where emotions are completely free,
And I can look in the mirror and see the real me,

Doughting oneself…

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Note from a Non-Smoker to Those Who Smoke

Originally posted on Concierge Librarian:


Now I know that in life we all have choices.  I choose to not smoke and you have chosen to smoke; and I respect your decision.   I am kindly asking for you to also respect my decision not to smoke.  I am asking you please to think of me when you light up.   Just step aside when you have to smoke if we are standing in a public place.    If you want to smoke and you are standing in a group of people just think about us and don’t light up right then and there.  I thank you for not smoking in the building but could you just also move a little away from the building when you are smoking please?  The smoke comes right back into the building when you smoke too near to the building.  I know that may not seem like a big deal…

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Gambling Habits & Personality Disorders

The treatment of people who cannot keep their gambling habits in check is often complicated because they also tend to suffer from personality disorders. So says Meredith Brown of Monash University in Australia, in a review in Springer’s Journal of Gambling Studies.

Problem gambling creates a multitude of intrapersonal, interpersonal and social difficulties for the roughly 2.3 percent of the population internationally that suffers from this behavior. Previous research has shown that people with gambling problems suffer from a range of psychiatric disorders affecting their mood, levels of anxiety and their use of substances.

Brown and her colleagues reviewed existing research to establish patterns and factors that link problem gambling and various personality disorders. They found that people with gambling problems share similar characteristics to people with antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic personality disorders. In particular, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is found more among people with gambling problems than those who can control their gambling. This personality disorder is associated with unstable interpersonal relationships and self-image, and marked impulsivity.

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Image source:  www.inspiremalibu.com


Seeing it through the abuser’s point of view: the world of estranged parent forums

Originally posted on Made of Moxie:

boundaries2Talked with my sister quite a bit about my mom yesterday, and discovered she still fantasizes about a ‘reconciliation’ with me — in her mind, it’s only a question of when — and she even had planned to overlap my visit to her (my sister just had heart surgery and is supposed to avoid all stress) so we could ‘have our reconciliation,’ and then my friend sent me this ASTOUNDING in-depth look at abusive parents on forums: Down the Rabbit Hole: The World of Estranged Parent Forums.

She worried it would be triggering but sent it on because the people on the forums sounded so much like my mother. I’m glad she did. I probably should have waited?

Because now I’m in the position of being grateful that my mother hasn’t shown up on my lawn with six co-conspirators to berate be for hours and that she took my…

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Using Bipolar Disorder to Pump Up TV Ratings?

Yep, that was a portion of the storyline on last week’s TV episode of ABC’s “Secret’s and Lies”.  So much for trying to educate society about mental illness to prevent stigma, this just takes us down one more peg to get TV ratings. Sad.

Without describing too much of the story line, it was the episode prior to this week’s finale, and the main character, Ben, is found snooping around in the dresser drawer of the woman he had an affair with, and finds two bottles of her pills.

One of the bottles contains lithium, and the other is an anti-psychotic. He looks up both and discovers they are for “Bipolar Disorder”; afterwards showing the woman exhibiting signs of “flipping out” and becomes violent towards Ben.

In my opinion, they could have worked that storyline another way without including the woman going berserk.

“Secret and Lies” TV source IMDB.com


Take My Hand

Originally posted on The Petite:

Take My Hand

I know you are weak my friend,

I am too.

I know you’re broken,

I’ve been there too.

But for now let’s just live.

Have a day.

Shower yourself with care and kindness,

one you’ve been saving for others.

The morrow wouldn’t be so bad, trust me.

You can scream, you can cry or you can write

either way you’d wake up to a better light.

Now smile and keep your head high,

for I’m here with you

we’ll go through even the highest tide.

Together may be we’d understand

the beauty of life

and may be one day

we’d even dance.

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When Your Abuser or Estranged Relative Dies ~ The Whole Funeral Thing

My toxic mother is not in the picture anymore, but the question still remains, what about the funeral? The response would be ~ NO for my abuser if he were still alive.

Searching high and low for a detailed answer, I came across this well written post. My intention is not to shove religion down your throats believe me, as this article was written by a minister on a religious site, however, it answered my questions and more.

One of the biggest dilemmas faced by escapees from abusive families is what to do when our abuser or estranged relative dies. Should we make an appearance at the wake and funeral, or not? Should we go to the burial?  Should we send flowers? Should we offer our condolences- and if so, to whom?

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Borderline Personality Disorder as disabling as Bipolar Disorder

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to suffer similar deterioration of their psychiatric and physical health as those with bipolar disorder, according to new research published in the British Journal of Psychiatry.

“Despite the clinical and public health significance of both of these disorders, it sometimes seems as if BPD lives in the shadow of bipolar disorder,” said researcher Mark Zimmerman, M.D., director of outpatient psychiatry at Rhode Island Hospital.

Bipolar disorder is a widely researched, well-publicized, well-funded topic. By contrast, BPD is seldom discussed and it is not included in the Global Burden of Disease study, a comprehensive registry that quantifies diseases by cost, mortality, geography, risk, and other factors.

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image source: positivemed.com


Considering Couples Therapy? Here are 7 signs….

My husband and I have been married for over thirty years, and it was suggested that we do some couple’s counselling just to talk over some issues and have a third party to oversee each of our points of view.  It really made a difference with only 6 sessions.  

Fixing a relationship with therapy doesn’t necessarily mean it’s broken, it’s just maintenance!

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Am I using too many Tags?

I was wondering about this as I was posting an article, am I using too many tags? So I looked on WordPress ‘help’, with them stating, “Five to 15 tags (or categories, or a combination of the two) is a good number to add to each of your posts. “The more categories you use, the less likely it is that your post will be selected for inclusion in the topic listings”.

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Mental Illness Affects Spouses, Families & Friends

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. There is BP I, where moods can swing from very low (depression) to very high (mania). My disorder is BPII, meaning I still experience ‘depression’; however, the ‘high’ (mania) is lesser of a degree and therefore named ‘hypomania’.

For a decade, I literally “lived” in and out of hospitals. My husband stood by me through these turbulent years. Years of endless hospitalizations, electro-convulsive therapy (shock treatments), suicide attempts and a myriad of medications became a way of life.

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