About Me


I reside in Ontario, Canada, married over 30 years, never had children but do have one ‘spoiled’ dog named “Emma”.  

Intense psychotherapy began in 1994 to deal with PTSD (childhood sexual abuse), which ultimately led to years of major depression, hospitalizations, ECT treatments and unemployment.  During these years, I journaled daily, and thankfully I did as ECT robbed me of considerable long-term memory.

Those journals were of such assistance,  I was able to compose articles to articulate and express all of the emotions felt in areas of my life that were explored in therapy.  Writing has always been my passion.

I did return to work for about 6 years, however, presently life finds me again still struggling with bouts of depression, coupled with chronic migraines and unemployment.

At this moment, I still remain in therapy dealing with the sexual abuse from a neighbor when I was 6 years old, and especially the harmful emotional abuse from my narcissistic mother.  Her hurtful words, lack of empathy and constant criticisms have had such an impact on my life.  I’m attempting to figure out which abuse was worse.

This blog started in 2007.   What exactly will you find while scrolling through these posts?  Good question:

Posting articles in a “what comes to mind that day” or if I’ve come across an article relating to mental health that peaks my interest for further research. A variety of different topics, beautiful quotes, poetry, images and reblogging from other blogger’s amazing posts ~ just so it doesn’t become boring and repetitious.

Mental Health/Illness topics addressing: Stigma, PTSD, childhood sexual abuse, depression, bipolar disorder, narcissist parenting, narcissism, migraines or chronic pain, eating disorders, other mental illnesses, psychotherapy, or abuses.  Also, personal articles about my own journey through depression, the healing process of PTSD and maternal narcissism with therapy etc..

With “Living in Stigma”, opportunities have come my way in the form of a series of articles on mental health on the website “Mind Your Mind”, and in 2011, I was interviewed via podcast on “Safe Space Radio” from Portland, USA on the topic of “Mental Illness Stigma“.

  • Join me at another site: “Deb-Living in Stigma” which includes some postings from this blog, as well as, some other samples of my writings.

Thanks for stopping by, if it wasn’t for all of you this blog wouldn’t be the success that it is with over 420,000 visitors.

Deb

Twitter @livinginstigma

89 thoughts on “About Me

    1. You are too kind, but I am now an award free blog. Thanks for the RT’s, appreciate it so much. That new site I was telling you about requested an “interview of the week”, and I’ve only been on it for one week. So far I’m liking the exposure and freedom to write on a variety of topics. Deb xx

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Thank you Cherished for following my blog MEMOIR NOTES. As an ACoN, your blog is invaluable to me! I would love for you to subscribe to my newsletter for updates on my upcoming memoir about growing up with a narcissistic mother. If you’re interested, please send me an email (reflectionsbooks@gmail.com) and I’ll get the link to you. Thank you. Feel free to edit this reply.

    Like

  2. HI, Deb, Thanks so much for visiting my site and choosing to follow along. It looks like we’ve travelled this journey together an never even knew it! So much of your story is my story. It’s wonderful to meet another Bipolar Warrior Princess.

    Like

  3. I so love the name of your site. I still have the need to be cherished. I was as a child but my parents were so self absorbed and dysfunctional that I didn’t feel or benefit from it. If you read some of my posts, you will come to know how much I love my mother and loved my father. I have struggled with my emotions about them but made the effort to understand why they were as they were and that they did the best they could with what they had to work with. I had dealing with my mother’s alcoholism and my father’s co-dependence to add to the mix.

    I spent two years volunteering for and then employed by Crisis Intervention of Houston answering hotlines. It was the most rewarding thing I ever did. I talked to many, many people with PTSD and was surprised to find that the diagnosis has been extended to Sexual Abuse and so many other traumas. It makes sense, I just didn’t realize. I am humbled by your courage to keep fighting not only for yourself but others. Writing my blog is giving me confidence and support that I am so grateful for. I think I just found a real gem when you responded to my post. Thanks again.🌹

    Like

    1. Thanks and you’re the first person since starting this blog (2007) that has ever commented on my blog username “cherished”. I always wanted to be cherished when I was a child, but never felt it from my parents, nor even while as an adult either. Not until I met and married my husband in 1979 (hence the name ‘cherished79’) did I feel that I mattered to anyone. We are still married and he has been my rock through all of this PTSD hell, what with the sexual abuse and emotional-narcissistic abuse via my mother.

      Your blog is lovely and eloquently written while appearing that writing for you is cathartic also. Stay strong. Hugs to you. Deb

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Deb, your blog is beyond inspirational. I am honored that you are following my blog. You are very gifted. I am so glad I have started this journey. Connecting with strong people such as yourself is just the beginning!

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    1. Thanks for the huge compliment and makes me proud that I’m getting the message across about stigma. I love your blog, you should be proud, an artist and a writer, pat on the back for you! Happy we’ve connected. Deb:)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi, there. I found your blog via a reblog on Just Plain Ol’ Vic. Mental health is one of my areas of interest, so I’m glad to have found another blog on this topic to follow. So many people struggle with mental health issues for so long, and despite many advances in our society, it is still a very taboo topic. I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts. I really liked the recent infographic on bipolar Vic reblogged on his blog.

    Take care.

    -Juana

    Like

    1. Thank you so much, unfortunately, your comment landed in my spam folder. Sorry for the late reply.
      Mental illness stigma is a huge problem, that’s why when I set up this blog my hopes were to bring to light how it affects all aspects of physical and mental health. I appreciate your comment. :)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Deb:

    Thank you for choosing to follow my blog. I too would like to remove much of the stigma associated with mental illness. I think I will give your blog a follow because I still have so much to learn! There can never be too much support.

    Like

  7. Loved reading about your story. As a person who struggled with depression in my teenage years, I will always have an affinity for anyone struggling with these circumstances. I look forward to reading more about you and your very astute insight. I too found solace in my writing as a young child. I have more diaries then I care to count:) When I was teaching I used to have my students write as a form a therapy but I fell away from doing it myself. I just discovered WP and have used it to express feelings about my current situation, but am excited to use it as a platform to write from my heart about other things. Hoping things feel a bit better soon, continue writing, no better form of therapy

    Like

  8. Hi Deb,

    I hope this finds you well. I represent Healthline, a medical website dedicated to providing trustworthy health news and advice.

    We just launched a new product with our partner TrialReach that allows you to search for clinical trials in an area for a specific medical condition.

    I thought you would be interested in our ADHD clinical trial results: http://www.healthline.com/health/trial-reach-adhd-clinical-trials

    I am writing to ask if you can help spread the word about this great new tool by including it as a resource on your page: https://cherished79.wordpress.com/

    Please let me know if this would be possible. I’m happy to answer any other questions as well.

    All the best,

    Maggie Danhakl • Assistant Marketing Manager
    p: 415-281-3124 f: 415-281-3199
    Healthline • The Power of Intelligent Health
    660 Third Street, San Francisco, CA 94107
    http://www.healthline.com

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hello!
    I just wanted to say thank you for liking and reblogging my post from AnchoredinKnowledge.com. I appreciate that.
    You also have a great site and I will certainly pass this on to clients who are looking for such sites.
    All the best

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment, I changed my mind and decided to “un” reblog your post due to fact that, although full of information, it contained too much advertising. I did however place you on my links. Sorry about that, but just letting you know.
      Note: an e-mail was sent today just in case you missed this comment. Cheers, Deb

      Like

  10. Hi, thanks for liking my post. Just wondering how you found my blog? (I’m new to this whole blogging thing and struggling to find good blogs I want to read with some humour in them). I too have experienced mental illness so my heart goes out to you and your current struggles. I’ll definately be stopping back in here to see how you’re going and read your entertaining posts! Thanks!!

    Like

    1. Hi and thanks for responding.
      When you put “tags” on your blog, it goes into a “reader”. You can view the reader (I found) on the front page of WordPress on MY BLOG. I happened to look under the tag for “embarrassment” and your blog came up; I was able to write a comment, or reblog or “like” or click onto your entire blog, because you used that tag. If your keep your tag as simple words, people will find your blogs easier on the reader and possibly “follow” your blog. Words that you used for your tag in your latest article: “writing”, “embarrassment”, “retail”, are GOOD words for tags, but words like “cool kids”, “brain cells” “not so good” are not common words so not so good. Hope this helps. Deb

      Like

  11. Hi Deb,

    We were wondering if you could include http://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder as a resource on https://cherished79.wordpress.com/

    Healthline provides a very comprehensive overview of bipolar disorder as a critical starting point for individuals and/or their loved ones.

    For more information, visit: http://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder

    Also, Healthline just launched a photo contest “What Does Happiness Look like to You”: http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/pinterest-contest We encourage you to share the contest with friends, family & anyone you believe would be interested in participating.

    Thank you in advance for your consideration.

    Warm Regards,

    Tracy

    Like

  12. Deb…I’ve not stopped by your blog in several months…glad I did…sounds like 2012 had some “speed bumps.” Hope that you are entering May on more solid ground…I didn’t realize that you were N of the border. I hope that spring is treating you well.

    Best wishes,

    Kate

    Like

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words. These have not been great months, nor was last year. Still living through a bad depression coupled by suicidal ideation at times. I was on short term disability for 6 mos. and now approved for long term. Unfortunately, the monthly benefit amount is very low and would be difficult to live on if I were a single person.

      In March 2012, I was in the hospital for 3 weeks on the mental health ward, as things were going from bad to worse. But I do think it helped a bit and while in hospital it was a nice break from thinking of the things that were triggering everything. Also, I had a very good pdoc.

      I sometimes don’t even have the energy to keep up this blog, so there will be gaps in posts.

      Take care and thanks for your note.

      Deb

      Like

  13. Dear Deb,
    I read some of your posts, and I felt sad because your mental illness lasted so long and that impacted your life so profoundly.
    I think that you should be aware that your therapist is exploiting and misleading you. That stops you from taking fresh perspective and healing.
    I was depressed at one time and everything seemed hopeless, but now I see how damaging was impact of those people. You should let yourself heal.
    Your blog reminded me on that time and made me sad. I felt that I have to tell you this.

    Like

    1. Thanks for your thoughtful post. The therapist I currently have has been excellent in walking me through the PTSD for childhood sexual abuse, and not misleading me. I will continue with her as her methods work. I’m happy you’re not in the throes of depression; what a feeling that is.

      Like

      1. Hi Deb,

        I was reading your reply and I was just wondering what type of treatment your therapist is using with you. I have just started CBT(cognative behavior therapy), I think its also called Prolonged Exposure Therapy. I am also dealing with PTSD as a result of being sexually abused as a child. Have you heard of these types of treatments? Do you know if they are effective?

        Like

        1. Kudos to you for stepping into the therapy world for tackling PSTD, as I feel that is the only way to work through guilt, resentment etc. It took many, many years to believe it wasn’t my fault of the sexual abuse, however, at times, I still think so.

          The therapy that my psychologist I am seeing now (for 3 years) uses, as far as I know, is just “psychotherapy”. Maybe it is CBT. It’s really working; she is very good. The first therapist I had in the 1990’s was way over her head with me and the PTSD and used psychodynamic psychotherapy. I became too attached to her and that was a major mistake. Also I pushed myself to learn more of what happened that I ended up in a mess and the start of years of very black depression and hospital stays. The flashbacks and memories were excruciating to go through and drained so much of me I eventually lost my job. I’m not saying that would happen to everyone, but for me it was a disaster.

          I hope this helps. Keep me informed on how you are doing, and pat yourself on the back, this is tough, draining work.

          All the best,
          Deb

          Like

  14. Hi Deb, I am 33 years old and was diagnosed with PTSD almost a year ago. Thank you for posting your story. I recently started my own website. http://tamingthehamster.weebly.com/index.html
    Feel free to visit and comment. I’m a rookie writer so any feed back would be great.

    I haven’t finished reading your website yet, but have added it to my favorites. Thank-you for sharing your story – it helps to know I’m not alone, and that there is a real living example of dealing and healing. I will definatly keep following you.

    Keep up the great work!

    Like

    1. This is excellent that you are keeping a journal as that was my savior at times and, although sounding bizarre, gave me comfort. The PTSD is horrible to deal with, but a word of advice – find a good therapist. Give it some time with this person and if you are getting nowhere, look for someone else. I made the mistake of holding on to my therapist for over 5 years and I think it made me worse. A therapist must be qualified to deal especially with PTSD.

      I really like your blog and you are doing great.

      Deb

      Like

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