Welcome – Connecting With Everyone Struggling With All Invisible Illnesses

“Living in Stigma” connects with everyone coping with chronic pain, mental illness, and all invisible illnesses.

Launching my blog in 2007, “Living in Stigma” the goal was to share my life experiences with mental illness with others, and aspire to receive feedback from those also struggling with their own depressive illnesses. I felt as if I was living in stigma with my own major depression.

Many forms of mental illness comprise Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Personality Disorders, PTSD, Eating Disorders, Alzheimer’s disease, and much more.

While I struggle with both mental illness and chronic migraines, along with news articles, social media, research, and my valued blog readers’ comments and opinions, it’s a reality that invisible illnesses such as fibromyalgia, lupus, headaches, recurring back and leg pain, cancer and so many more are also a vast portion of invisible illness stigma. 

STIGMA – Mental & Invisible Illnesses

What is Stigma?

When an individual appears to differ from us, we may view him or her in a negative, stereotyped way. People who have personalities or characteristics that society’s values negatively are stigmatized.

Stigma is a reality for people with mental or invisible illnesses and how society judges them is one of their most significant barriers to coping and living their life. We feel uncomfortable about mental illness, perhaps due to not fully understanding this disorder, and with an invisible illness, we sometimes assume they are useless, unable to work or function at all. (Statistics show stigma is less present with invisible illnesses).

Would saying good-bye to your therapist cause you trauma?

Leaving Therapy

Would this be a tough decision? Have you prepared yourself?

Note: Your therapist (psychotherapist, psychologist, social worker, counselor) is an educated professional whose job it is to discuss your life’s issues. She/he is not your friend.

Presently, I’ve reached the point where monthly therapy is not required anymore.  I had been in therapy for over 20 years, seen several therapists, and about 9 years with my last one, who had been an experienced trauma therapist.

This psychologist helped me most during my journey to overcome PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and emotional abuse from my Narcissistic mother. Tackling the secrets and hurts that I’ve been holding onto for so many years needed to be heard, believed, and validated with reassurance from her.

How grueling therapy is in the first place, and yet to be so secure with a stranger, to trust and disclose your most private inner thoughts, secrets, feelings, and emotions; a person who listened to you when no one else does or ever did, never criticized, nor judged, and was absorbed in what you had to say. It’s a reassuring relationship.

Many people with mental illness, for my depression and PTSD, seldom had encouragement or validation throughout the years, believing they or their lives weren’t important enough to be heard.

Now this person is looking at ME, asking ME how I’m feeling, and listening to my response. She believes in my trauma, how tough it’s been throughout my life, and most of all validating my emotions.

Some would argue we pay for this service. Yes, we do. However, to overcome problems with relationships, perhaps your job and improve mental health, we must seek professional help.

I was overwhelmed with sadness when I finally had to say goodbye. In our last session, we discussed the progress I had achieved during our time together.  I won’t lie, it took a long time to overcome the loss of regular sessions with her.

Do you believe it would be difficult to leave?

When therapy is coming to an end, it’s recommended to discuss it a few sessions beforehand. Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Rewritten and copyrighted D. McCarthy Jan 2024

This article on ‘Finding a Therapist’ covers all therapy questions:

Coffee: Avoid taking these meds with your morning coffee

We love our morning coffee, it gives us a spark of energy in the morning, and it’s been discovered that drinking two cups may reduce liver cancer risk or even assist us in living longer by reducing heart disease.

But coffee has its negative aspect also. Most of us are aware drinking coffee is addictive or may cause stomach upset, yet unaware that later in the day, it may cause a stimulant crash, including energy loss, requiring an afternoon nap, or lack of motivation. That may be why we’re sleepy later in the day.

Certain medications taken with your coffee can harm your health. So, which drugs should you never ingest with your morning coffee? Read below.

ANTIDEPRESSANTS

Coffee can lead to reduced absorption of TCAs (tricyclic antidepressants), with the patient not receiving the prescribed total dosage. Also, the SSRI medication fluvoxamine is recognized to enhance the caffeine effects. People consuming large amounts of caffeine may feel heart palpitations, ill, restlessness, or insomnia.

ADDERALL

Avoid combining coffee with Adderall. Coffee in small amounts may not have an adverse effect with side effects, but combining the two can raise side effect risks. Those risks include high blood pressure, heart elevation, feeling nervous or jumpy, and trouble sleeping.

PSEUDOEPHEDRINE and EPINEPHRINE (stimulants)

Coffee is a stimulant, and interacting with other stimulants, could lead to increased heart rate and risk of tachycardia.

VITAMINS

Since coffee is a diuretic, vitamins won’t be valuable to your body if they are shoved along too quickly in your digestive system or have a positive effect if flushed out of your body. Also, as a diuretic, coffee can cause a loss of water-soluble vitamins (Bs and Cs) when taken together.

Coffee can also reduce your absorption of vitamins, iron, and calcium, forcing food through the digestive tract faster.

DIABETES

For medications that treat diabetes, coffee may have a harmful effect. It can, in some people, increase blood sugar, which may counteract the consequences of your anti-diabetic medications. If you drink coffee, it’s essential to monitor your blood sugar.

LEVOTHYROXINE (thyroid medication)

A study published found that coffee (a stimulant) interfered with this medication. It also has a slight laxative effect which causes fluid in stools. Coffee could cause this medication to affect the intestines by moving it too quickly. Your thyroid hormone levels may decrease, leading to symptoms of hypothyroidism, fatigue, weakness in your muscle, possible weight gain, hoarseness, and cold sensitivity

Article source bestlifeonline.com

Other sources:

mayoclinic.org, WebMd.com, worldofmolecules.com

Written and copyrighted by Deb McCarthy, October 2022

Quote for Sunday

Will ECT #77 Do the Trick? – Depression

Decades ago, I struggled with major depression, and my psychiatrist considered me medication resistant and ordered a slew of ECTs.

Image: pixabay

Wednesday would be the day for my next ECT (electroconvulsive therapy)

I’ve kept count; it will be ECT#77, another nightmare procedure producing nil results, robbed of much of my long-term memory, and I’m pessimistic.  I must keep going, plodding along, slowly – ever so slowly to somehow reach the top of the mountain. What else to do? Am I medication-resistant?

Strangely, I look forward to “going under” for these ECTs; it’s almost indescribable. Letting go of your whole being and existing in serene, tranquil waters.  That is where I desire to stay – please let me stay – I don’t want to return – I hate coming back.  But I always awaken.  I begin to sob. Why am I doing this?

On Tuesday at 10:00 p.m., I have been reminded nothing to eat or drink after midnight before ECT tomorrow, helping to prevent vomiting during the procedure.  Also, I am to pee right before the process preventing ‘accidents.’

Wednesday: 8:00 a.m., A fitful sleep last night, awake at different intervals praying that I would not wake up from the anesthetic tomorrow. 

Nurse Anne pops her head in my room, stating I will be patient #2 going for ECT on the ward, which means an additional one-hour delay.  I lay back on messed-up sheets.  I am a tad nervous, even though I can recite this procedure in my sleep.  Bewildering, painful thoughts. Ironic how life is:  I fear the procedure, yet I hope for my life to terminate. 

The time has come.

The gurney is waiting outside my room, and I hoist myself as gracefully as I can onto it.  A friendly porter named Allan arrives and ensures the top sheet is tucked around me, equipped with my med chart.  My hands tightly grasp the metal rails of the gurney, and my eyes take in the bright fluorescent hallway lights as we ride swiftly down the long corridor. 

The 10 Psychological Disorders

Sources for infographic: Pundit Cafe, Mental Health America, WebMD, National Institute of Mental Health

Is It Important To Take Medications At Certain Times Of The Day? Why?

I was interested in the answer to this question, as I have different times during the day when I take mine.

When I visit my doctor and he issues a new prescription, my pharmacist’s service is to provide and review that prescription. Upon instructions from the doctor/pharmacist, it covers when to take the meds, take them with food or drink, timing, or the best time to take it when it’s a daily medication.

Does it matter what time you take your daily medication?

The time of day is essential to have the maximum benefits or possibly minor side effects. Some medications could cause drowsiness or nausea. Therefore, it’s recommended by some doctors to take them before bedtime.

The prescription bottle has a label containing important information stating the name of the prescription (both generic and brand name), dosage, when and how to take it (food or drink), warnings, or specific instructions.

Is it better to take pills in the morning or at night?

Different drugs with different times taken vary. The explanation is the affect on your body or possible drug side effects. Certain medications for high cholesterol (called statin medications) are deemed to be the most effective when taken before bedtime, reasoning that cholesterol produced by your liver peaks after midnight compared to morning and early afternoon.

Why is it important to take medication at the right time or the same time every day?

• Safety
• Taking blood pressure meds before bed, as opposed to in the morning, could prevent heart attacks and strokes
• For birth control pills, taking your dose at the same time every day is essential (progesterone-only pills are especially important as timing is crucial for preventing pregnancy)

How can I remember to take pills?

There are several ways to remember to take your medication. My pharmacist provides me with a “7-Day Blister Pack” at no charge, and each medication is sorted by day and time of day. There are also daily reminders that can be purchased at most Dollar stores (see above image) or apps on your phone.

Source of article singlecare.com

Written and copyrighted by Deb McCarthy October, 2022

What is Lupus?

Lupus is not contagious—you can’t “catch” lupus or give it to someone else.

Lupus is a chronic (long-term) disease that can cause inflammation and pain in any part of your body. It’s an autoimmune disease, which means that your immune system — the body system that usually fights infections — attacks healthy tissue instead.

Lupus most commonly affects your: 

• Skin
• Joints
• Internal organs, like your kidneys and heart

Because lupus affects many parts of the body, it can cause a lot of different symptoms.

Learn more about lupus signs and symptoms

What are the types of lupus?

When people talk about lupus, they’re usually talking about systemic lupus. But there are four kinds of lupus: 

• Systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), the most common form of lupus
• Cutaneous lupus a form of lupus that is limited to the skin
• Drug-induced lupus, a lupus-like disease caused by certain prescription drugs
• Neonatal lupus a rare condition that affects infants of women who have lupus

The remaining information is here lupus.org

Living in Stigma post October 2022

You’re Fired!

When you first hear those two words, you automatically think of losing your job. I thought I would take it one step further and think back to some of the times I’ve actually been ‘fired’ in other situations.

I will begin with my career position. The ‘firing’ occurred during the first year I was attending therapy sessions for PTSD, which would be a slippery slide into the world of deep major depression. I was employed with this company for five years as an accounting supervisor; however, numerous hospitalizations, therapy sessions, months off at home recuperating, and returning to work did not pan out. In the end, I was basically ‘fired.’

As soon as they received the much-awaited doctor’s letter, upon what would be my final office return, they shoved a severance package envelope at me and escorted me to the door. This came after the “you were a valuable asset to the company.” I was so ill back then. However, in hindsight, I wish I had fought harder for a better compensation package.

~~~~~~~

One of the saddest times in my life was being ‘fired’ by my close friends. Felt like a kick in the stomach. I had four extremely dear friends, and during my first few admissions to the hospital, they would visit regularly. When home on passes, we would get together for lunch and chats, but as the years passed, so did they. No phone calls returned or more visits when there were further hospital admissions. It’s as if they wanted no more to do with me.

It all fell back on me in my thinking. I was the cause of this ‘firing.’ Maybe this; maybe that. Perhaps I shouldn’t have acted so glum-like, possibly not described what it felt like to be depressed, maybe joined in on a joke or conversation, or perhaps I just wasn’t the old ME. And then it hit me….why should I have to apologize for being ill. An illness? Apologizing for a condition? What other disease would have you doing this?

~~~~~~~

Now firing can work the other way, and I had the upper hand:

I ‘fired’ a couple of my psychiatrists. The first I had for numerous years; was an arrogant SOB, who had little time for me, and I was getting nowhere. I’m convinced he didn’t care that I ‘fired’ him (possibly relieved); he most likely didn’t even recognize I wasn’t even a patient of his any longer!

The second psychiatrist fell asleep on me during our second session. I did take this personally at first, then thought – no – he is the one with the problem.

~~~~~~~~

And lastly, for a point in time during my illness, when the blackest, muddiest moments of depression would not let up, I believed life had ‘fired’ me. I felt adrift, discouraged, and very suicidal. Suicide is not the answer. However, when you can actually touch the black, depressive fog between your fingertips, you identify that death is nearby anyways. So many days, I would ask myself, “What did I do that was so wrong in my life to deserve this grim life of depression.” Life’s ‘firing’ is the worst ‘firing’ of all.

Written and copyrighted by Deb McCarthy on October 2022

What’s the Link between ADHD and Anger

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental disorder that causes difficulty focusing, planning and organizing tasks, and controlling impulses. Other symptoms include:

• Difficulty paying attention
• Hyperfocus on a topic of interest
• Being unable to sense and manage time²
• Lack of impulse control
• Inability to complete tasks

While anger isn’t “officially” listed as a symptom, ADHD symptoms can trigger anger in many people. About 70% of adults with ADHD report feeling more impatient and quick to anger than those without ADHD.³

This article covers the link between ADHD and anger, ADHD anger triggers, how to manage anger as a person with ADHD, and how to prevent angry outbursts.

See the remainder of this article @ verywellhealth.com

By Neha Kashyap 

Neha Kashyap

Neha is a New York-based health and science news writer. Neha has written for WebMD, ADDitude, HuffPost Life, and dailyRx News.

Published on September 28, 2022

 Medically reviewed by Michael MacIntyre, MD

Published on Living in Stigma September 2022

No Mental Illness Stigma?

What would your life be like?

What would you or your family’s life be like if there was no stigma attached to mental illness?

Do you believe your life would alter dramatically?  What changes do you imagine you would observe the most?  What would you desire to say to anyone, anywhere (fantasy world here)?

Discussing my illness, namely, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation, with newer friends I may meet. (I would hope they could recognize the hardships that mental illness creates and that depression is not my fault nor a character flaw.) Should I get acquainted with them better, I would also like to bring to light the obstacles I have faced and how depression feels – so very black, a feeling of hopelessness, like walking in the mud.

To converse openly with other people and discuss my moods.  Clarify that I’m not a “crazy” person, and the times I have attempted suicide were not attention-getters but the feeling I was at the end of my rope, with no way out. 

Hearing fewer words or phrases such as “I’m having a nervous breakdown,” “looney-bin,” “you take too many medications,” and “psych ward” This is a sample of the countless expressions I have heard over the years.

Unfortunately, the mental illness stigma will never disappear, but it has improved since I began this blog in 2007. Education, well-known celebrities, and influential individuals have come forward to state they have suffered, from depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, etc., and this has lessened stigma to a degree.

Written and copyrighted by Deb McCarthy 2022

Do You Harbor Resentment?

Do you harbor some resentment?  I hate to confess I do; feeling embarrassed with a character flaw such as this, it becomes awkward to discuss.

Resentment, or the strong and painful bitterness you feel when someone does something wrong to you, doesn’t have actual physical weight, but it feels very heavy and can last a long time. Forgiveness is one way to get rid of resentment.  — Source: Vocabulary.com

Resentment can occur under any circumstances. Although some people’s resentments are deep-rooted, but the best example for me involved a work situation.

Years ago, another woman and I were up for a similar promotion.  We weren’t chummy friends, so that didn’t enter the picture; however, we did work in the same department.  Both of us shared equal qualifications, but I worked there longer than her, and I assumed I would get the position hands down.  Well, guess what – I didn’t.  You know that reaction when they ultimately drop the bomb, you politely smile, yet you are seething inside, ready to secretly attack the winner! In retrospect, I was so cheesed off at myself for sitting there meekly accepting my loss and must have had the word “resentment” written on my forehead.

Quote – Motivate & Inspire

Did you know that Friendship can ruin Therapy?

The therapist I worked with for seven years was amazing; we dealt with some extremely emotional issues, including PTSD, sexual abuse, and maternal narcissism.  She validated my feelings and showed the kind of empathy that I’d never received as a child. Therefore, I often craved her as a friend while in therapy.  I soon understood boundaries and realized it wouldn’t work; therapy isn’t friendship. 

A friend told me of an occurrence where friendship ruined the relationship between her and her therapist.  She had been meeting “X” every 3 weeks for roughly 2 years, drudging through many agonizing, uncomfortable, personal issues, and trusted “X” entirely with what she disclosed, more than with any other therapist.

When she was pregnant with her second child, and also experiencing difficulties with her spouse, “X” was there to convey her thoughts.  By the time the baby was to arrive, they worked through marital issues, which alleviated the situation at home and for her.

Quote ~ Breathe

I have no more Migraines. Why?

The definition of the ‘migraine’ comes from the Greek meaning, ‘hemicrania’ or ‘half-headed’ on one side of the head,

Migraine sufferers are Migraineurs.

A migraine is a disease, an invisible illness, and “not just a headache.”

I have been a Migraineur for over 50 years.

My ‘headaches’ began as a teenager; I was about sixteen. They were sporadic but extremely painful. As the years passed, my headaches became migraines and more frequent. The pain was excruciating and “put me out of commission” for several days. It affected my social life; employment, and I often visited the hospital emergency for pain relief.

In my 50s, these migraines developed into ‘Chronic Daily Migraines’ (chronic is defined as 15+ headaches per month). I was fortunate to escape with one or two pain-free days per month. The agonizing pain was unbearable, with some migraines continuing for 7-9 days without a break. I discontinued going to the Emergency as the hospitals in my city did not offer narcotics to relieve pain, only the equivalent of Tylenol.

My neurologist tried many methods to treat these horrible migraines, but nothing was effective.

Life went on, and I accepted that I would have chronic pain for the rest of my life.

My psychiatrist discontinued the antidepressant I had taken for over a year (Effexor) and diagnosed me with severe anxiety. In June 2022, I was hospitalized for depression, and he decided to try Clonazepam (Klonopin) at a small dose of 0.5mg daily.

Clonazepam is used to prevent and control seizures. This medication is known as an anticonvulsant or antiepileptic drug. It is also used to treat panic attacks. Clonazepam works by calming your brain and nerves. It belongs to a class of medications called benzodiazepines.  Source: webmd.com  

After about a week, my migraines decreased, and I only got the odd headache.

What is Bell’s Palsy? Connected to Migraines?

Waking up one morning, I looked in the mirror and saw a droopy face on one side scaring the heck out of me. Did I have some type of stroke?

I was in my 30s and after some research discovered it may be Bell’s Palsy. After a day, the facial nerves returned to normal, but not perfect. However, I continue to show minor signs around my eyes and mouth (30 years later). It’s interesting to learn that people with migraines have a higher risk of having Bell’s Palsy.

Source: Google Images

Bell’s palsy is a paralysis or weakness of the muscles on one side of your face.

They damage the facial nerve that controls muscles on one side of the face, causing that side of your face to droop, which may affect your sense of taste and how you produce tears and saliva.

This condition comes without warning. Waking up with Bell’s Palsy first thing in the morning, a person discovers that one side of their face doesn’t move, and if it affects an eyelid, blinking may be difficult.

FACTS:

1. Bell’s Palsy typically starts suddenly, but it’s not to be confused with the condition of cerebral palsy.

2. There have been links found between migraine and facial and limb weakness, which prompted a study showing that people with migraine may be at much higher risk of having Bell’s Palsy.

3. People who suddenly undergo these symptoms believe they are having a stroke. However, if the weakness or paralysis only affects the face, it’s likely to be diagnosed with Bell’s palsy.

Stigma Quote

I had to write this quote as it reminded me of a relative who visited me in the hospital. Perhaps she assumed I lost my marbles along with the depression? A perfect example of stigma.

Which one for Pain?

Now the police are at my door…

A few years ago, depressed as hell, I Dialed the Distress Center Hotline, speaking for what felt like forever with a counselor about my obsessive suicidal feelings and depression. Zilch was helping, and I abruptly hung up on her, which was a dreadful mistake.

Thoughts danced in my head for days, dreaming and planning for ways to kill myself, yet I still reached out for help. The counselor’s voice was grating on my nerves with no progress, so I didn’t want to talk to this chick anymore.

Fifteen minutes later, a loud rap at my door, “Police.” I cautiously opened my door to discover a male and female officer standing on my front veranda, asking if I was ok and could they could talk to me. Me? Why? Police?

They clarified the Distress Center’s “phone hang-up” policy and had no alternative but to call the police. I was ‘distressed,’ and these cops weren’t buying my story that I would be ‘ok’ now.

The back seat of this cruiser was larger than I expected. Neighbors, who usually don’t walk their dogs, now strolled by the police car peering in, along with other neighbors peeking through window blinds and curtains. However, I am seated with my mind in a muddle, confused, uncertain of the future, yet despising the present.

The Narcissistic Mother

This describes my narcissistic mother well.

My Podcast Interview is now available at the Harvard Medical School Library

In May 2011, Dr. Anne Hallward, a psychiatrist from Portland, Maine, who hosts a weekly podcast called Safe Space Radio, contacted me. She has broadcast over 300 episodes on mental health awareness, including depression, bipolar disorder, stigma, social injustice, suicide, etc.

Dr. Hallward read my blog “Living In Stigma” and was interested in interviewing me for her radio podcast to talk about the subject focusing on stigma and bipolar disorder.

Both flattered and delighted that she chose my blog, I was nervous just thinking about talking live on a radio podcast.

The interview went pretty smoothly, and when I originally posted the podcast on this blog, I received wonderful feedback.

Many years have passed, and Dr. Hallward contacted me last week to inform me that she was winding down her podcast interviews. The Harvard Medical School Library has agreed to become the permanent home for collecting all Safe Space Radio interviews.

My Bipolar Disorder and stigma podcast will now be available for anyone to listen to!

Stigma and Being Bipolar with Deb McCarthy

MAY 18, 2011 BY SSRADMIN

interview here: https://safespaceradio.com/?s=bipolar+disorder

https://safespaceradio.com/about/

Who We Are

Managing Treatment-Resistant Depression

Treatment-resistant depression (TRD) occurs when major depressive disorder (MDD) treatment does not work. There is no official definition or set criteria for TRD, but the measure often used is an inadequate response to at least two trials of antidepressant medications.¹

The term “treatment-resistant depression” is not frequently used in clinical settings.²

 Terms such as “difficult-to-treat,” “struggling with their condition,” “complex needs,” or “chronic” may be used instead.

TRD doesn’t mean depression can’t be treated. It means different treatments must be tried to find what works for that individual. Read on to learn about how to manage TRD.

What Causes Treatment-Resistant Depression?

The cause of TRD isn’t known, but research suggests risk factors may include:³

• Depressive episodes that are longer in duration: The longer a bout of depression lasts, the more opportunity for atrophy in specific brain regions (such as the hippocampus). Longer episodes can also result in behavioral and cognitive changes that may be harder to manage.
• Severity: The most severe and the mildest forms of depression are associated with a risk of treatment resistance.
• Type of depression: TRD is more prevalent in bipolar depression than in MDD.
• Symptom duration: Symptoms that don’t improve within the first few weeks of treatment may signify treatment-resistant depression.
• Comorbid conditions: Anxiety (symptoms and/or disorder), personality disorders (especially avoidant and borderline), and other co-occurring conditions may affect treatment outcomes.
• Age: Older-aged adults may respond less to treatment.
• Biological factors: Genetics and biological factors may make some people respond more or less to some treatments than others.

While more studies are needed, research suggests inflammation may play a role in TRD.¹

Read entire article @ Very Well Health

By Heather Jones, Published September 21, 2022

 Medically reviewed by Michael MacIntyre, MD

PTSD ~ Are you the Black Sheep of your family? I know I sure am

That was me, the black sheep in our family of four. There was only my brother and me. He was treated like gold, the golden child, while I….you get the picture. My brother and I were having lunch one day, and these words stung “I don’t know why you have problems with Mom. We must have lived in different houses because I saw none of this”.

On their PsychCentral.com blog, this article, written by Jonice Webb, Ph.D., explains:

I’ve met many Black Sheep. It’s my job.

In a recent post called Black Sheep, I talked about some common myths and how Black Sheep are not what they appear to be. They are simply a product of family dynamics.

But today, Black Sheep, I have three messages just for you:

1. Research Supports You

Religious Abuse ~ A Psychological Trauma

Religious Abuse

Each time I hear a mention of this abuse, I shake my head, thinking, “here we go again, another child/adult child sexually abused, coming forward despite their courage and pain, to be treated like garbage or accused of making it all up and the church deals with it in their own way, which is nothing”.  I seethe inside.

It is difficult to define what “religious abuse” means, as it carries implications of forcing someone to believe in faith. Still, it is abuse committed by someone who is a representative of a religious body.

Usually, the abuse takes the form of:

~ physical abuse

~ sexual abuse

~ emotional abuse

~ neglect

The abuse occurs because the religious representative takes advantage of his/her position of responsibility within the religious organization.

There has been widespread publicity surrounding the abuse by and criminal conviction of priests of the Catholic Church all over the world, leading to several leading legal precedent judgments in the higher courts concerning the church’s responsibility for the criminal behavior of priests.

Quote – PTSD – Narcissistic abuse from mom

NARCISSISTIC MATERNAL ABUSE

I wrote this quote referring to my narcissistic mother. She cannot recall the days of ignoring me, criticizing or showing no empathy, nor caring about me the way a mother should. Her emotional abuse had enormously affected my self-worth, self-confidence, and trust. I was forever feeling guilty or questioning what I had done that she was so displeased with anything I did for her.

After my father passed away, she felt isolated and lonely. She was elderly now and displayed signs of illness, questioning, “Why don’t you ever visit or come over for lunch because it’s lonely every day in this apartment?”. Hmmm, I wonder why? Typical narcissists do not recognize their own personalities.

I finally went NO CONTACT many years ago as I was tired of her never-ending abuse. It was the best decision I ever made. 

I found out she passed away two years ago and thought she could have had a loving daughter to spend time with, but she threw it all away.

re-edited and reposted August 2022

A Normal Cough or a Deadly Cough?

Lung cancer: How to spot a normal cough from a deadly one, according to NHS experts

Image source: Pixabay

The last few years have focused on respiratory illnesses, with many of us looking for a Covid test the instant we start coughing or feeling under the weather. But, because of this, thousands of people have stopped coming to their GPs when they develop a new or difficult cough.

This is worrying NHS bosses as lung cancer remains the UK’s deadliest cancer and the fifth highest cause of death in the UK. Now, health chiefs are launching a campaign to help the public spot a potentially dangerous cough from a normal one.

The “Help Us Help You” NHS campaign wants the public to know that persistent breathlessness, a bloody cough, or one that persists for three-week should have you calling your GP. While it might not be lung cancer, if caught early, you might not be one of the over 26,000 people who lose their lives to the disease each year.

See the rest of the article @ mirror.co.uk/lifestyle

Living In Stigma August 2022

Before Your Next Trip to the Dentist – Read This

Here’s how to evaluate your dentist’s advice and how to pay less for pricey dental procedures.

When you’re in the dentist’s chair, being told that you need a filling, a crown, a root canal, or some other procedure, should you trust that advice? Or is there another option?

Many factors—apart from what’s best for you—may play a role in how some dentists decide what to recommend. Plus, the scientific evidence supporting some dental procedures is often lacking. When it comes to the best way to handle a problem with a tooth, there’s a whole lot of gray area.

Plenty of teeth do need dental work, and no repair lasts forever, so a tooth with a filling could require ongoing attention. A small filling may be replaced by a larger filling, the tooth might eventually need a crown and a root canal, and you could finally need to have the tooth taken out, says Alexander Holden, PhD, clinical associate professor of dentistry at the University of Sydney. But when should all these steps occur? Or are they even necessary?

Read the rest of this article at consumerreports.org

How The Small Joys Become Big Things With Chronic Illness, Disability & Pain — Invisibly Me

Small joys can enhance our daily life & wellbeing. Here’s how to appreciate those simple pleasures when living with a chronic condition. The post How The Small Joys Become Big Things With Chronic Illness, Disability & Pain appeared first on Invisibly Me.

How The Small Joys Become Big Things With Chronic Illness, Disability & Pain — Invisibly Me

Does life make you feel like an insecure piece of fluff?

 Usually, when someone is referred to as ‘confident‘, they are referring to self-confidence.

Self-confidence is faith in one’s own abilities. People with high self-confidence typically have little fear of the unknown, can stand up for what they believe in, and have the courage to risk embarrassment (for instance, by giving a presentation to a large group of people). A self-confident one is not necessarily loud or reckless.

They relate confidence as a psychological quality to, but distinct from, self-esteem. Self-esteem is usually lost because of other losses. Losing confidence is no longer trusting in the ability to perform.

My self-confidence and self-esteem went down the toilet shortly after my first hospitalization back in the mid-1990s and never really returned, even to this day. The gigantic hands of depression held onto me ever so tight. I lost my thinking process, the career I built, and mostly what I lost was me.

I went from working full time as an accounting supervisor for a large manufacturing corporation to essentially a ‘piece of fluff. People routinely came to me for answers, and when in the hospital, I spent my days sitting in solitude or meandering the hospital halls to pass the time. Was this the life they sentenced me to?

It was incredible the change in me; virtually a child standing behind her mother’s dress, frightened to ask or speak up. I was even nervous about ordering a pizza via the telephone. Previously, I was forever the one who would enter a room, introduce herself, perform a speech, and feel at ease.

Mental illness does this to a human being. Instead of possessing that comfortable leather skin that gets us through rough situations, we only find ourselves dressed in chiffon. You feel flawed.

These are rough roads and undeserved journeys. Some of us have taken these roads/journeys repeatedly and question when the “under construction” will end, giving way to the smooth, fresh pavement.

It took years to recover and land back on my feet. I revisited the working world, however, only some of the self-confidence and self-esteem returned; just enough to get me by. Starting all over and learning new computer systems and methods were incredibly difficult, yet I endured employment for 6 years before dark depression struck once again and now find myself unable to work.

I recognize I still lack it, and living jobless makes a difference; away from the working world, not connected to people, sometimes hurls you into your own little world, where you get to escape and become too comfortable. I’d still rather hide, but I know I can’t, therefore, compelled to be “self-confident” looking and sounding.

Actually, this self-esteem/confidence thing is a lot of self-talk, and the support has to be there as you begin the “baby steps.”

Re-written and copyrighted by Deb McCarthy/2022

(edited and repost)

Mom – Narcissistic Abuse

Depression: Why Do We Push Others Away?

Image: Pixabay

I googled this question for myself and thought it must apply to others struggling with depression. I have a few friends who have invited me to meet them for coffee or lunch, but I don’t feel the urge or energy to do so. In fact, I dread the fact of leaving the house and chatting.

This article explains exactly what is going on in my head!

When we have depression, we often withdraw from our loved ones and sometimes, pushing people away. We don’t always know why, and it’s not always a conscious thing either. It’s confusing, painful and unsettling.

It can confuse those around us, too, because if we don’t know why we’re pushing them away, they won’t know why either.

WE HAVE NO ENERGY

Feeling like we lack energy can be tough when we’re alone. We must be careful when managing our little energy, so we don’t completely exhaust ourselves. Having no energy when we’re around others can be even worse. We’re expected to talk. People expect us to smile. We’re expected to join in. Sometimes, we don’t have the energy to be around others. We don’t have the energy to follow conversations or think of things to talk about. We push people away because we don’t have the energy to be around them. We worry we won’t meet their expectations of us.

WE STRUGGLE WITH CONCENTRATION

It takes a surprising amount of concentration to follow conversations. When we’re low on energy and have the concentration span of a flea, following conversations can be impossible. This is stressful because we worry about looking silly or rude or losing track of what’s going on. The fear that we won’t be able to keep up can make us freeze. It feels easier to push people away than worry about having to do things we don’t feel able to do. We just don’t want to let anyone down.

This article continues here @ blurtitout.org

Living in Stigma August 2022

Trauma Therapy ~ 4 Important Things to Look For

To heal from trauma means finally dealing with the source of the trauma, whether it’s childhood abuse, sexual abuse, or physical abuse. This could include combat experiences, a natural disaster, or a violent assault. How can this be done when trauma provokes such negative and overwhelming feelings that most try hard to keep safely buried?

Therapy can be a vital step, helping the person feel safe enough to revisit their trauma without being re-traumatized. Getting the right support is key, however. Not only is it important to connect with a therapist well-versed in effective therapeutic approaches, it’s also vital to seek a person with whom you feel a personal connection.

Multiple studies confirm that a person who feels good about their relationship with their therapist is more likely to have a positive outcome. A recent study from Bowling Green State University researchers takes the concept a step further, noting that a deep connection between a therapist and patient can lead to “sacred moments” that increase well-being on both sides.

With that in mind, here are four things to look for to make your therapeutic experience most effective:

Knowledge. Your therapist should, of course, be up to date on treatment options–techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, which teaches new ways of thinking about old experiences; neurofeedback, which can help rewire the brain to overcome trauma-induced changes; equine therapy, which can be a helpful supplement for those who find it hard to trust human connections; and EMDR, which can help with moving beyond the past.

12 Telltale Signs of a Narcissistic Grandmother

Narcissists defy logic. A small minority is self-aware enough to seek help. Some seem pretty functional and even successful. But the majority are blissfully ignorant of the devastating impact they have on the people around them. 

A narcissistic grandmother is a latter type. She doesn’t realize the extent of her issues, and she tends to find fault in everyone but herself. That is typical of most narcissists.

So before we get to the specific signs of a narcissistic grandmother and how you can cope with her, let’s look at what narcissism is. 

This article is written by Lana Adler, founder of Toxic Ties.

Source: The Narcissistic Life

Living in Stigma July 2022

PTSD ~ When a child comes to you…

If my parents had believed me when I was five years old, I wouldn’t have been in therapy for 20+ years, healing from the impact of their ignorance. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

C-PTSD — Patricia J Grace

The chronic PTSD, like a hidden, lurking scary intruder melded into my wiring, takes off without permission. When my new computer, only 8 months old, went capooey once again, only after a few weeks since the last time, my stress level rose. and the C-PTSD invader took over. The thought of talking to that fast […]

C-PTSD — Patricia J Grace

Elder Abuse – Who Is Being Abused?

Image source: Pixabay

Abuse can happen to anyone — no matter the person’s age, sex, race, religion, or ethnic or cultural background. Hundreds of thousands of adults over 60 are abused, neglected, or financially exploited each year. This is called elder abuse.

Abuse can happen in many places, including the older person’s home, a family member’s house, an assisted living facility, or a nursing home. The mistreatment of older adults can be by family members, strangers, health care providers, caregivers, or friends.

Who is being abused?

Most victims of abuse are women, but some are men. Likely targets are older adults who have no family or friends nearby and people with disabilities, memory problems, or dementia.

Abuse can happen to any older adult, but often affects those who depend on others for help with activities of everyday life — including bathing, dressing, and taking medicine. People who are frail may appear to be easy victims.

Read the rest of this article @ National Institute of aging

Living in Stigma July 2022

7 Signs Someone May Have Asperger’s

What doctors look for when diagnosing Asperger’s.

About 1 in 44 children has autism spectrum disorder (ASD) according to the CDC, although health professionals say the number could be much higher if early symptoms are missed. “A lot of adults with autism feel lost,” says Lisa Croen, director of the Autism Research Program at Kaiser Permanente. “It’d be great if physicians had some more general training and awareness. Just like with any other condition, they really have to take into account that particular person in their office and adjust what they’re doing to meet the needs of that patient.” Here are seven signs of Asperger’s, according to experts.

Social awkwardness and difficulty understanding social cues could be a sign of Aspergers, experts say. “With autism, social skills are impaired because of communication; the individual does not know the right things to say,” says Mariela Tapia Hernandez, MEd, RBT. “It causes challenges with interpreting social cues, facial expressions, and tone of voice. They might not understand personal space and stand too close or talk too loud. These traits differ from someone with social anxiety.”

By Ferozan Mast July 18, 2022

Read the rest of this article @ eatthis.com

Living In Stigma July 2022

New Study: Ketamine for Depression

At-Home Ketamine Treatment Safe For Patients?

A new clinical study of sublingual ketamine telehealth is adding data to the notion that at-home ketamine treatments can be safe and effective for moderate-to-severe cases of anxiety and depression. 

The study was conducted by psychiatrists and researchers from MAPS, the Cleveland Clinic, UCSF, NYU, and Houston Methodist. Across a cohort of 1,247 patients, 89% of participants presenting anxiety or depression showed an improvement in their symptoms after four sessions, and 62% fewer patients reported reduced suicidal ideation after the sessions.

See the remainder of this article @ Benzingo.com by Lara Goldstein

Quote: “Learning from the Old Me”

Written by: Deb McCarthy reposted July 2022

Unloved Daughters and Problems with Friendship

image: QuoteForest

While reading this article below, I immediately thought of myself and the difficulties I’ve experienced throughout my life with friends. I believe it’s been a huge trust issue, and becoming over-sensitive during many of my friendships. 

Because of a phone call or an e-mail not being returned, I interpreted this as my narcissistic mother disregarding me when I was younger, and now friends not giving a hoot about me either. Many other traumatic instances during my childhood came into play, thus losing many friendships.

If there is a single area of life unloved daughters report having the most difficulty with, it’s certainly initiating and maintaining close and sustaining friendships. This is true even of women who have been able to manage successful marriages or intimate connections, the other aspect of life unloved daughters may struggle with. It’s not going to surprise anyone that women who have close friends tend to be happier and have more support in life, especially when there’s a crisis; there’s a body of robust research that shows that close friendships positively impact our health and well-being. The work of Patricia Linville shows that the more ways we have of defining ourselves—and being a friend is an important one—the more resilient we are when we face down stress or a major life change.

Seeing Mom’s long shadow

The difficulties we may have with friendship are fed by many streams, some of them relatively common and others more personal. There are the unarticulated generalizations about women we’ve drawn from our mothers, the first women we’ve encountered on an intimate basis; if they make us feel unsafe, the chances are good that, unconsciously, we’ll feel self-protective and unsafe around other girls and women. We may make it hard for girls to befriend us because we need to test their loyalty and trustworthiness first; because we approach friendship with our guard up, we may not understand other girls’ openness and misread their gestures and words. Because we are sensitive to even the hint of a slight, we may bring unwelcome volatility to every friendship.

See the full article @ Psychology Today by Peg Streep

Living in Stigma July 2022